Contours Of A Beautiful Mind

I Waited.. (Day 3/30)

My still scrutinizes all perfect affection I cannot touch nor feel

Too gentle, as the autumn breeze creeping up my leg

Hives, which you give me, feel like the first time until the next time

Like the last thought you think before going to bed

Your sun scorches my skin

All day through the sunset, the couple’s laughs turn to noise

Maybe you are running a few minutes late

My watch keeps forcing it’s reflection to my face

Waiting for the call you never made

Waiting to feel something other than my own touch

Waiting has made me old and hard done-by

My wrinkles are worry, they do not tell stories of adventure and life

But a story of a woman who waited too long, only to be alone

Waiting for you to love me

I don’t know what year it is anymore

I don’t remember our last conversation or kiss

I remember that frosty bench & waiting

What is that thing they do with their eyes when they don’t want to call you crazy?

There are people in my life I don’t remember

Are they also waiting for you?

Alas, They don’t understand me the way you do,

Well, I better get going

I’m going to be late for our meeting.

Nobuhle

Closest Thing to Crazy (Day 2/30)

The anticlimax that is this love
Passive aggressive body language, now
Convertousness for other strangers along our path
I only want you when people are looking at us with envy, now
I don’t talk about you, anymore
Getting over someone I knew briefly
I’m not crazy, I swear I was loved
Or I just turne into a 5year old whenever he was around
Feeling priviledged every time he asked to spend time with me
I’d stopped seeing anyone else the first night we met
I literally droped everything for his battered soul
Friends, Skirt, Blouse, Standards amd Cigarettes
Crazy men are always passionate and chaotic
They are fixers; they fix broken things to distract themselves
Come back from a long day to cuisine and a naked body
A well oiled sex machine, we just never stopped
I got used to his morning face, breath and glory
Out of our minds and bodies, head rushes turn to head aches
Overnight, I started dreaming about brand new kisses
He thought I was the one, but I was just young and sexy
Love became our chore. So predictable.
We served our temporary purpose, like decorative furniture
All this, didnt bring my father back.

Nobuhle

Shadows (Day 1/30)

Emptiness reaches out for babies I do not own

Looks deep in their faces and finds a home,

Short lived. Slap-on-the-wrist. Get back to your bitter tea of resentment

It’s not because of your absent father or naive heart

That you want to hold onto something new that overflows unconditionally,

These insatiable attachment issues when one one’s ever owned you or held your hand, willingly

“When he leaves he’ll take everything with…”

An echo in the mind next time he promises love too big to fill his own heart

Loving on credit has no returns; it taxes the mind & leaves the heart in recession

Your stale affection and green eyes always admiring from a stained glass window,

That uncanny smile, little girl? Are you giving Joker his day off, again?

Your high cheek bones seem to twitch and throb every time you smile

The corners of your mouth have become rather longer than normal

Your emotions and wet pillows validate you’re not good enough

And they remind you of everything in your past, everything you forgot

Every crease on the clothes you wear smell like the ones who’ve left you

You’re a mess. Looking to pour your heart out to travelling men who lost theirs on the way

When He gave you His a long time ago on a certain cross

Love that reaches everywhere and seems to come from nowhere

No man wants to move into an empty house built on a termite foundation

Love you.

Nobuhle